DECANTATIONS

After more than a decade of turning a blind eye to my ma's idiosyncracies, compulsions, paranoia, irrational jealousies, impaired judgement and pathological lying, we finally went to a psychiatrist to ask for advice. We couldn't drag my ma to see the psychiatrist though, that'll be the day -- so i just wrote a specific list of all ma's symptoms, as well as her predilection for finding herself smack in the middle of a legal wrangle. More than a dozen criminal cases filed against my Ma, all of them related to fraud. That alone should have alerted any rational human being that something was definitely wrong. But we shrugged it off to menopause, or stubborness or sheer bad luck.

Guess we were all as deluded as Ma. We deluded ourselves into thinking that she was sane, when all evidence indicated otherwise.

We had our suspicions of course, but when we heard the doctor confirm our worst fears with respect to ma's mental health, 'twas only then that it became a definite reality. The human capacity for denial is astounding.

After talking to the doctor, all my resentment, my anger at my mom disappeared. I was knocked into sense, and I'm still reeling from the right dealt by the inescapable truth. Ma's not well in the head, and we failed - no, we deliberately closed our eyes to the truth!

My siblings were equally shocked I know. Even now we're floundering around like fish out of water at the immensity of the implication. My ma has a mental condition.

Inside I'm a mess. I'm too shook up to be depressed though. I'm just lost. We know the best thing to do for Ma is to get her some treatment and therapy, but tis not easy trying to convince a person with a mental condition that she has a mental condition. Ma is even wary of doctors, more so the shrinks.

I'm still hoping though, that I can get through her. That I can convince her without dragging her to court and airing out all her dirty laundry for all and sundry just to convince the judge that she needs to undergo therapy.

God help us, please. I want her to get better.